Rituals

Rituals are routines. Yet the first word carries an aura of meaningfulness and gravitas while the word "routines" may seem boring, rote and without thought. It's a good idea for each person, each family, to examine routines and decide which have meaning and purpose and which can be discarded.

"Romance is an ideal to which every married person should aspire," writes Francesca Di Meglio for About.com. She also argues society's definition of romance may be off. "We're making it be about grand gestures and things that require lots of work, which means time and/or money, neither of which any of us has. Romance doesn't have to be so hard. It can come in the form of a simple act..."

And then Francesca described one of my favorite rituals, my husband making coffee each morning. "It's a small gesture, maybe it's silly," I had explained to her, "but it's a habit that has built over time that matters as much as the gifts we've exchanged, trips we have taken, or activities we enjoy."

As Di Meglio reminds, the trick may be assessing our routines and turning them into pleasant and comfortable rituals. No couple does this more than Sofi and Parsaa in my novels set n Afghanistan. Fear of Beauty is Sofi's story, and Allure of Deceit describes Parsaa's reflections, his appreciation of his own marriage and thoughts about other romances that have gone wrong.

Request a review copy of either book by contacting Seventh Street Books.

The photo "Going Home" is courtesy of Iain Cochrane of Scotland, 2008, and Wikimedia Commons.