Regret

 

In Her One Regret by Donna Freitas, a woman new to motherhood disappears from a parking lot, her baby left behind. Her best friend, Michelle, is convinced that Lucy was taken against her will and she goes to work making and posting fliers and organizing a reward. Michelle also makes the mistake of divulging Lucy's secret - that she regretted becoming a mother. 

Lucy transforms from victim to pariah. Julia, among the many mothers closely following the case, instantly empathizes with Lucy, about such regret. She struggles with loneliness, rattled and lost as her husband works long hours. A mistake results in a call to child protection services. 

Julia becomes convinced that her odd next-door neighbor may have kidnapped Lucy, trapping her in his basement. But depressed and wracked by constant self-doubt, she fails to contact authorities. To be sure, the authorities likely would not have believed her. She spots a vital clue but tells no one, not even Michelle who might have offered guidance. 

Most family members, specialists, and even best friends, quickly deny that a woman could ever regret having a child, and at best insist such feelings are a passing phase. Women who do express how they feel quickly encounter cool, shocked and even hostile reactions. They shut down. 

One of the three women remains married in this unusual and well-written mystery, and two do not. And it should be noted that the regrets are not limited to one. Instead, a wide range of losses is covered: career, personhood, free time, romance, loving connections with the vulnerable infants, autonomy, truth and more. 

Denial, devastating for all involved, does not make such problems vanish.